ThisTakesTooLongToType

A collection of funny quotes I HAVE ACTUALLY HEARD MYSELF.  I was inspired to start this running post when listening to KFWB in Los Angeles when California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger all but admitted to arson.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger
When: May 7th, 2009 around 10:00 AM
Where: Santa Barbara, CA.  Press conference regarding the fires
What: When speaking about the upcoming ballot measures and their potential affect on emergency service response.
Quote: “Rest assured, when the fire starts, I will be right there.”
Blogger’s comment:  In other news…Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger is sought in connection with the Santa Barbara fire and all other past fires since he came to California from the island on his 35th birthday.

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Something I learned today that might help somebody live through a charging bull attack.

If you find yourself in the unenviable path of charging bull, remember the following:

1. Do not taunt the bull.  Making the bull angrier so as to cause the bull to make a mistake is not necesarily your best option.  Bulls should leave you alone unless they are provoked or they’ve had a bad day at the ranch.
2. Find safe harbor.  Quickly look for a safe escape route.  Running away will only help if you can get to safety.
3. If you can’t find safe harbor then take off your shirt, jacket, or red cape…anything that will help you with the next step.
4. Hold still with your red cape or plain t-shirt in front of you.  As the bull approaches, throw your clothing item away from you.  Bulls are primarily attracted to movement, (much like T-Rex dinosaurs).  The bull should attack your just-now discarded clothing.  Hopefully you can find a safe path out of the matador arena before you are completely naked.

Advanced technique:

1. Don’t go where bulls congregate.
2. Never accept a gift from Johnny Dangerously while shooting a Schlitz Malt Liquor commercial.

I hope you never need to sidestep a charging bull but if you do I hope this helps.

Best of luck!

David

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Something I learned today that might help somebody live throught a shark attack.

Sharks will only attack if they think they have the advantage so you have to do everything you can to make them think they are not safe when attacking you.

In the water:

1. Hit them with whatever you have.  Fists, camera’s, mining equipment…whatever.
2. Go for their eyes and gills.  These are the most sensitive areas on a shark.  The snout of a shark is not as sensitive but if you have no other choice then hit them there.  Remember: eyes and gills, eyes and gills.
3. Hit them repeatedly as hard as you can.

On land:

1. Run away from the shark.  Sharks are notoriously slow runners on land.
2. From a distance, show them you are carrying tartar sauce, (always carry tartar sauce just in case).  The shark knows you mean business if you’re holding a bottle of Hellmann’s.
3. Call Aquaman.  Aquaman has rapport with most species of shark and can save you from embarrassing bite marks.

I hope you never need to fend off a shark but if you do hopefully this helps.

Best of luck!

David

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Ok, not the chicken head biting sideshow at a carnival.  I’m talking about the computer science kind.  I can prove it.

See?  I even edited the copy/paste code to used rel=”nofollow”

Bow to me.
David

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I found a new site that may interest you.  Debt Settlement programs

Nearly everybody faces financial difficulty at one point in their financial  lifetime. As a result, bad-debt will likely arise.  A person may somehow confront these drawbacks because of employment loss,  separation, bereavement or just plain very poor individual money management.  Small companies traditionally run into these needs in the initial two years of operation.  To blame for a venture failing can extend from greater competition, accidents, loss of sizable account to name some.  No matter the reason, bad-debt could possibly lead to insolvency. But, there are alternatives to bankruptcy that may save your personal credit  or your company credit standing.

Insolvency is regularly defined as unable of a person or a partnership to satisfy monies owed to their creditors. When an individual files, the debtor  (the establishment or you) is required to give up all unexempt real property and assets for cut-rate sale. While personal items are kept, you have to also subscribe a bound portion of your earned income to the creditors based on repayment program. Your credit report scores will be very low for a long time, which implies that you will not be capable to find financing for any private or business stake for a extended period of time.

The headaches and strain made because of these unpaid financial responsibilities can be weighty, to say the least, especially when a thought of filing insolvency crawls in to your psyche. In these state of affairs, it is crucial to realize that you have got choices. It is all important to seek out the options, such as a fiscal advisory who can produce a debt liquidation program for you.

If you are inquiring why a lender will want to work with you to resolve the debt consider that settlement is an alternative for them as well.  In certain bankruptcy judgments a bank holding unsecured paper may receive nothing.  However, when their client works out a settlement they will at least recover some, if not all, of the debt they hold.  Consider also that when you add up the interest that has been paid already along with the late fees and over the limit fees they may have charged, the bank could be money ahead even before the settlement.

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