ThisTakesTooLongToType

I wish I had a nickel for every nickel I have:

Just in: Ottawa Senators eliminate Buffalo Sabres in Overtime

At least my mother loves me…

Aries - You are hell bent on ruining my life. Stay away from crack pipes and hammers today.
Taurus - People want to agree with you for no reason. Make up something ridiculous like your penny has a picture of Sylvester Stallone today.
Gemini - Your evil twin will try […]

Life is like an analogy…

Aries - Try and win the lottery today.
Taurus - Your brother will call you today. If you don’t have a brother then this will surprise you quite a bit.
Gemini - I think you are the evil twin.
Cancer - Do not buy stock in DVD rewinders today.
Leo - 8 is the […]

Like Rambo, I live day by day…

Aries - Your bologna’s first name is not “David.”
Taurus - Your magic eight ball will tell you that you should ask again later.
Gemini - Your evil twin is switching out your shampoo with the leading brand.
Cancer - Do not wax your nostrils today…or ever because it really hurts.
Leo - […]

The Ottawa Senators had a big win against the Sabres yesterday to bring their series to 3-0. With Buffalo on the mat and and the ref starting to count attention swings to a more entertaining series. The Ducks square off with the hated Red Wings at 6:00 pm tonight in that hockey hotbed […]

The Saints marched in with this list…

Aries - You’re going to get heart burn if you eat that.
Taurus - Stop weezing the compressed air, it’s just compressed air.
Gemini - Your evil twin has a better alibi than you today.
Cancer - Myspacers think you waste too much time surfing the Internet.
Leo - You need to go […]

Monday has been canceled due to lack of interest…

Aries - You will be hit by the Hamburgler next time you go to McDonalds.  Watch your buns today.
Taurus - If you ride your bike to work, do not do wheeleys into oncoming traffic today.
Gemini - Your evil twin is eating the burrito you CLEARLY marked as […]

With faces only a mother could love, the Anaheim Ducks will face off with the hated Red Wings today at 4:30 PM today. The Ducks have an uphill battle down 0-1 in the series. Only one team has won a series in this year’s playoffs after losing the opening tilt and that was […]

I wish I could ‘CTRL Z’ in real life…