Archive for September, 2008
Funny Horoscopes for Wednesday, September 24th
As for my mission: If only one person enjoys this post then I think I’ll give up…
- Aries – You have a pimple somewhere on or around your face, body, or neighbor.
- Taurus – Don’t jump from a sky-scraper with an umbrella as a parachute today.
- Gemini -People have seen your evil twin hiding underneath your skin. (tip of the hat to TMBG)
- Leo – Be careful not to handstand on an alligator today.
- Virgo – Your one shy cookie…or you’re one cookie shy…something like that.
- Libra – Happy Birthday, FRUITLOOP!
- Scorpio – There’s an easier way to get that flavor than pouring coffee on a doughnut…I just don’t know what it is.
- Sagittarius – Don’t worry, the unemployed get benefits too.
- Capricorn – Don Cheadle will not be at your slumber party…don’t lie.
- Aquarius – You have to give 110% effort just to pay the interest for your constant laziness.
- Pisces – Try to avoid the caviar blended espresso; it’s not as delightful as it sounds.
Bag o’ douche with side of
My new favorite site for at least today is: http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/ This never fails to amaze me when you see pretty girls with douche-bags. Not actual douche-bags, you see; that would be a hygiene issue clearly out of my jurisdiction. No, I mean the douchy douche-bag guys that have that same look of satisfied entitlement in every picture they take with a pretty lady, foxy mamma, or swell dame (foxy mamma reference for our older readership; swell dame reference for our much older readership).There are several categories of douche-bag:
1. The gang banger – identified by multiple tattoos with at least 2 on the neck or one on the shoulder and a hands raised motion with some sort of finger contortion that signifies an alliance with a specific group of people; (perhaps other gang members or college fraturnity). These douche-bags are usually found at the beer tent of a regional car show taking pictures with the Miller Light girls.
2. The discontented malcontent non-conformer – This douche-bag where’s his trucker hat with a completely flat brim. His ears are pierced with hoops and his hair is shaped all day long with a shampoo Mohawk…you remember…from this morning? Yeah, they have short hair so it just looks douchy.
3. And others…
Ok, I’m bored and I have work to do so enjoy.
David
