ThisTakesTooLongToType

Like my father used to said, “I’ve always wanted to be quoted.”

• Aries – If you’re not Scottish then wearing a kilt makes it a skirt and you a crossdresser.
• Taurus – Try not to catch falling rocks today.
• Gemini – Try not to look your evil twin in the eyes today.
• Leo – Really?  Hubcaps?  C’mon!
• Virgo – Put a note on the trash can that says, “Contents No Longer Edible”
• Libra – DAMN IT!  FOR THE LAST TIME…THE SALAD FORK GOES ON THE OUTSIDE!!!
• Scorpio – Do not pay for sex today.
• Sagittarius – Your OCD is acting up again.
• Sagittarius – Your OCD is acting up again.
• Sagittarius – Your OCD is acting up again.
• Capricorn – It is unwise to upset a Wookie today.
• Aquarius – Today is a good day to waterboard your children.
• Pisces – Technically crack is a gateway drug…but it’s the exit.

Spike.com has a list of the top ten saddest guy movies of all time but I call shenanigans on half the list.

Here’s my top 5, (since I can only think of 5).

5. Where the Red Fern Grows / Old Yeller (dog movies get grouped)
4. Saving Private Ryan / Schindler’s List (Spielberg movies get grouped)
3. Brian’s Song
2. The Passion of the Christ
1. My Life (saddest movie ever…don’t watch it….seriously)

Honorable mention(s): Forest Gump / Joe Versus the Volcano (Hanks = grouped)  Forest Gump when Bubba dies and later when his Momma dies too, (Jenny the whore got her comeuppance).  In JVtV when he’s on the raft praying.

Sorry…I’m a little verklempt.

I would have thought of more but I’m not a crybaby like you!  

Thanks for reading,

David