ThisTakesTooLongToType

34

Something I learned today that might help somebody live throught a shark attack.

Sharks will only attack if they think they have the advantage so you have to do everything you can to make them think they are not safe when attacking you.

In the water:

1. Hit them with whatever you have.  Fists, camera’s, mining equipment…whatever.
2. Go for their eyes and gills.  These are the most sensitive areas on a shark.  The snout of a shark is not as sensitive but if you have no other choice then hit them there.  Remember: eyes and gills, eyes and gills.
3. Hit them repeatedly as hard as you can.

On land:

1. Run away from the shark.  Sharks are notoriously slow runners on land.
2. From a distance, show them you are carrying tartar sauce, (always carry tartar sauce just in case).  The shark knows you mean business if you’re holding a bottle of Hellmann’s.
3. Call Aquaman.  Aquaman has rapport with most species of shark and can save you from embarrassing bite marks.

I hope you never need to fend off a shark but if you do hopefully this helps.

Best of luck!

David

I don’t know why it works this way but it does.  I have a mug for pens on my home-office desk.  Last time I cleaned it out I had a bunch of tiny papers, paper clips, a thing of white-out, and a finishing nail along with an assortment of various penography, (pencils, markers, etc), but no actual pens.

Anyway, jump ahead now about a year.  I’m searching all over for a pen.  I grabbed a handful of penography from the mug and sifted them around in my hands.  No pen.  However, there are 2 pen caps, 4 highlighters, 4 whiteboard markers, 3 Sharpies, a broken pencil, an empty pentel, a Windows key from my keyboard, a baby phillips head screwdriver, and a picture of my dad and his cat.

WTF.  Right?

Ok…go do something else now.

David

We’re getting married in August and I can’t wait.  I love her with all my heart. 

I did mean literacy and thanks for asking.

Ok, so  just read on CNN that the stimulus checks are going out early.  Hmmm…panic much?  Get the cash in the hands of the people as soon as possible.  According to the article, there’s a software program that makes everything faster.  Well, maybe.  But I’m just wondering what I would do if I was about to be late on all my bills, couldn’t borrow any more money, broke as can be but I found $10 in a pair of jeans I hadn’t worn since last summer.  I bet I would take one last trip to Taco Bell and indulge myself before I had to finally face the reality of bankruptcy.  Personally, I think that’s what this is.  The US economy is in the pooper and for much bigger reasons than people are not spending enough of their paychecks.  The stimulus package is about having one last party before we all die.  Maybe not die…ummm…what about a depression, though?  With all the people here I think this would be a Greater Depression.  Anyway, here’s the article: http://money.cnn.com/2008/04/24/pf/taxes/Stimulus_checks/index.htm

Take care,

David

I just read my first Squidoo page. It was insightful and interesting, (not really). Check it out, if you must. Credit Card Debt Settlement..

We just experienced an earthquake in Santa Ana, CA. It knocked my thermos off the counter. Details to follow.  March 28th…Ok, no real updates.  The news is that it was about a 3 somewhere in Irvine.  Damn it!  I wanted wall-to-wall news coverage for the next 10 days.  I wanted to see news anchors roll in without any makeup on with their hair all unsnarled in curlers and what not.  I wanted to see the same video shot of a collapsed retaining wall every day for the next month but I don’t get to.  I feel like I was robbed by this earthquake.  Eff you, San Andreas fault…EFF Y-O-U!!!

Ok, bye.

David

My kids think I’m cool now…actually, no…they don’t. But at least they can listen to my playlist.

Or, I should say my click throughs. Odd, since this is a blog, most people just pop in, read and leave…no clicking. I guess maybe the daily funnies are helping. I added an ads page for testing only….shouldn’t even see it if I were smart about it. I guess I’m more lazy than anything. Anyway, I thought it was cool that my traffic doubled and I didn’t really do anything but add a funny papers page and throw a few ads around it. …then I of course stumbled it and posted a couple links. Hmmm…

Ok, take care,

David