Horoscopes: May 11th
Many Bothans died bringing us these horoscopes today…
- Aries - You need to go wash your hands. You are a sick individual today.
- Taurus - Pushing a baby stroller is fun. Pushing a baby stroller backwards…more fun.
- Gemini - Your evil twin will not do your chores again today.
- Cancer - If you are a nun, try and abstain from intercourse today.
- Leo - I love your radio show on Saturday and Sunday.
- Virgo - Yes, it’s Friday already today.
- Libra - Take care not to work out more than 4 hours today.
- Scorpio - You’re going to wear that? Seriously, if I wore something even remotely close to that you would just tell me to go change. I’m not going to argue with you about it. No, I don’t mean that… What? FINE! WE’RE NOT GOING THEN TODAY!
- Sagittarius - You did a lot of damage to the atrium yesterday. You need to go clean it up today.
- Capricorn - Do not play tug-of-war with a mime…they will cheat today.
- Aquarius - You have an argument with a Scorpio today.
- Pisces - Next time you feel like you want to laugh at somebody, try the mirror, Pal!
