ThisTakesTooLongToType

Monday has been canceled due to lack of interest…

• Aries – You will be hit by the Hamburgler next time you go to McDonalds.  Watch your buns today.
• Taurus – If you ride your bike to work, do not do wheeleys into oncoming traffic today.
• Gemini – Your evil twin is eating the burrito you CLEARLY marked as yours today.
• Cancer – Wear deodorant today.
• Leo – Do not run with scissors in a balloon factory today.
• Virgo – Launching your neighbor’s noisy dog into space does not make him an astronaut.
• Libra – Toilet paper rolls do not make good telescopes today.
• Scorpio – Do not stand on cups to make yourself taller today.
• Sagittarius – Remember, your brother’s XBOX is not a dinner plate; do not put it in the microwave today.
• Capricorn – Do not leap from rooftop to rooftop today.
• Aquarius – You forgot to call your mom yesterday; tell her you were in the hospital after a freak waffling accident when you were cooking her breakfast.
• Pisces – You’re not so smart with tape over your mouth today.