Horoscopes: May 21th
I wish I had a nickel for every nickel I have:
- Aries - People think you’re stuck up. Don’t worry, it’s just your arrogance that shines through today.
- Taurus - You will not be able to get the song “Rico Suave” out of your head today. Riiiiicohhhh….Suavvvvvvvehhhh.
- Gemini - Don’t turn around but your evil twin is about to stab you in the back…again.
- Cancer - Reach into your pocket in five minutes and you will find a hand.
- Leo - Your friends like you…just not in that way.
- Virgo - Brian Boytano called; he wants his wardrobe back.
- Libra - Tie your horse to the hitching post so that it doesn’t get towed today.
- Scorpio - YES, PHILISOPHICALLY SPEAKING, YOU’RE STILL A F###TARD!
- Sagittarius - Stop waisting your time with that stupid blog; nobody cares!
- Capricorn - Four out of five doctors are going to choose the leading brand today.
- Aquarius - If you felt any smarter you could breathe with your mouth closed.
- Pisces - You will be the last horoscope for today.
