Two giant hams leaping about
I just saw a semi-attractive woman walk by the window at the Starbucks on Harbor and Baker in Fountain Valley, CA. The problem isn’t that I thought she was ugly or that she was fat; neither of those conditions existed. However, she was dressed like a slutty slut. She had a really tight light green tank-top with fake boobs press hard against the fabric like they were gay guys licking the glass of George Michael’s private telephone booth, (not that there’s anything wrong with…actually, yeah there is).
Her hair was the typical OC girl half black hair half blond, (a clear indication of an indecisive woman). Her skirt was white, (to match half her hair, I assume); and her high heals were black, (to match the other half of her lettuce probably). To top it off it off, her skirt was short enough to reveal what appeared to be two giant hams on stilts leaping about while carrying the aforementioned torso to and fro. I don’t mean to be a critic; God knows I’m not in shape but for love of all that is good in the world…wear some pants. She is Orange County’s answer to that fat, hairy German guy in a thong at the lake. I’m not typically a mean person but I have to feel better about myself somehow.
Best,
David
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